Go, Mommy, Go!

Last June, my favorite race buddy Stacy and I signed up for the Country Music Marathon when there was a special promotional discount for National Running Day.  We had done numerous 5Ks, a trifecta of half marathons in 2013, and the Ragnar Relay last year together, just to name a few.  Why not add a marathon to that list?  Unfortunately, however, Stacy passed away unexpectedly last December.  I miss her tremendously, and at times it made it quite difficult to keep training and pushing forward, but I knew she would want me to keep at it.  And so, last Saturday, I -along with Stacy's sister and fiance- ran the CMM in her memory.

It was my third full marathon, but the first one I had done post-marriage and kids.  This time around training was a lot more challenging - trying to find time to train, working around both Justin and my schedules to figure out when I could squeeze in long runs, and doing lots of treadmill runs at the Y while the kids were having fun at the Y-Play.  It was definitely a difficult feat!  

The weeks leading up to the race caused me much anxiety.  I was missing Stacy a ton, I was worried about the 90% chance of storms that was predicted, and I just didn't seem ready - especially since my last long run, a 20-miler, left me in tears because it was so brutal!  Picking up our race packets the day before the race did nothing but make me more nervous and anxious to run!

With Jeff and Dana, Stacy's fiance and sister.

The kids absolutely loved everything about the Expo - especially all of the samples, haha.

After the Expo, we dropped the kids of at Lolo and Lola's house and carbed up before an early bedtime.  My nerves got the best of me, and I woke up over an hour before my 4am alarm.  I just couldn't believe that the weather forecast had somehow shifted from basically inevitable thunderstorms to being perfectly clear!

We met up with Jeff and Dana bright and early wearing our matching shirts made in honor of Stacy.

I was nervous and anxious and fighting back tears as we waited for our turn to cross the start line.  Once I crossed, I immediately found a slow and steady rhythm and just started praying.  I said countless decades of the rosary - in honor of anyone I could think of who was suffering more than me.  I prayed for Stacy and her family and friends, for Michael Stanley - a boy I've never met but whose story I've been following - and his family and friends, for my cousin Cliff and his family during his bout with cancer, for the two homeless men that Lissie has taken a special devotion to helping.  I figured that my running 26.2 was nothing compared to what others are feeling and going through.

It helped tremendously that Justin and the kids and Stacy's other sister and friends alternated meeting up with us throughout the course to cheer us on.  I prided myself on maintaining a speed that would get me to my goal.

Go, Mommy, Go!

Still figuring out the megaphone.

Waiting for me at mile 17.
(BTW, Lissie fell in love with the CMM shirt - it was like an Elsa dress on her.  Haha.)

He was sad because he thought he could run with me.

But then I hit that mental wall at Mile 20.  Maybe it was the heat and humidity (I was thinking that the rain would've been nice at that point).  Maybe it was seeing all of the faster runners coming back around and wanting to be them instead.  Maybe it was the hills.  Maybe it was just the fact that we were in Shelby Park.  But I just kept slowing down.  I took more water/gatorade breaks and had a harder time getting back into running rhythm.  I started to feel blisters forming on my left foot.  I was achy and sore all over.  Even when I made it to mile 25, I couldn't get motivated to run that last 1.2 miles.  I alternated running and walking and choking back tears.  Finally I made it to mile 26, and I forced myself to keep running.  That's when I saw Justin and the kids and started to do my ugly cry.  I told them that I couldn't do it, and the kids helped me (slowly) run that last .2 miles to the finish line.

My ugly cry, haha.

I did it.  It wasn't pretty, and it wasn't my personal best.  My official time was 4:56.  It wasn't my worst time, either, so at least I'll take that.  Regardless, mission was accomplished, and I think Stacy would've been proud.

I don't know if I'm going to run another marathon again.  I at least know that it won't be for several more years, if I do.  I'm just glad that I could finally put that 26.2 sticker (that I bought a few years ago but wouldn't allow myself to put up until I ran another one) on my car.  I know it wasn't my first marathon, but it was definitely my hardest one to train for and finish.

Yep, Stacy.  That was for you.